Dreams and Goals

April 26, 2023

Michaela

I have always had big goals and aspirations. From a young age, I dreamed of doing big things, even with the odds against me. I grew up with little money, my mom was a single mom who worked extremely hard to get us what we needed. We experienced domestic abuse, hiding, and starting over. We moved constantly, changing schools frequently. None of that dampened my resolve, I was determined. I went to culinary school, followed my dreams, and determined nothing could stop me.

That was before chronic pain.

Chronic pain is a beast, she will try to take everything from you. Chronic pain has broken my spirit more times than I care to admit. She is relentless. My dream has always been to own my business. I dream of owning a successful bakery that sells unique baked goods. I want to share my joy with others. But this disease has put so many obstacles in my way. Every time I get started or make big strides toward making my dreams come true, she will rear her ugly head. I recently built a food truck from scratch. I was so excited! My truck was beautiful, everyone loved my tarts, and I made a profit daily. I optimistically thought, this will work, my dream is finally coming true. Then the chronic pain ramped up. Completely incapacitating me. I was bedridden for months, with excruciating nerve pain radiating from head to toe.

I sunk into a deep depression.

Once again my dreams were crushed. There was no way I would be able to make them come true. At my lowest, I learned that my schwannomatosis had amplified. I was hoping that maybe I would only get a few tumors throughout my lifetime, but dozens had popped up all over my body. This changed everything. How could I possibly accomplish anything with my life while constantly battling pain and weird, unpredictable symptoms?

After mourning the path I was on, I had to say goodbye to that particular dream and hopefully find a new path, a new direction, a new version of my dream.

Stay Strong,

Michaela