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The day is much like any other day. I had pain in the night, which caused me to wake up multiple times. About five in the morning, I gave up on sleep. Even though I know the lack of sleep will intensify my pain, I simply cannot sleep through the pain. It is an endless cycle. My nerve pain is a nine pulsating all over my body, and it is primarily affecting my joints, so I can tell a storm front is approaching. I’ve been so fatigued for the past week that I’ve wanted to sleep nonstop. I am exhausted. But today I want to do something special with my girls. I don’t want to tell them again that
Mommy can’t today because Mommy hurts too much.
The look of empathy and disappointment that statement employs is both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. So I put on my brave happy face and take my girls out for an enjoyable day.
Smile through pain, that is the only option.
Not remembering the pain I was enduring, but the love I felt and the smiles on their faces.
By the time we get home, a mere two hours later, my body is done. I can barley move. I make the girls some bento boxes and place them in the fridge. This way they can grab them for dinner and I will not have to get out of bed. Because I know that the moment I lay down my body will completely give up and the pain will take over. I will be useless until tomorrow or maybe even the next day. So I will plan a movie night in bed with the girls, getting cuddles and love, to fill up my cup. Keep filling your cup with joy and love, it will carry you through.
Stay Strong,
Michaela
